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Writer's pictureGus Keller

Valentine's Day



Valentine's Day is toxic commercialism, perpetuating excessive romanticization, sanitized emotions, narrow views, oversimplified conflicts, and exploitative stereotypes. Characters are insincere, dialogue is contrived, humor is unskilled, and relationships are shallow. Plus, the plot replaces quality with quantity, cycling through mindless formulas to distract from its lack of depth. It's a patchwork of repetitive, predictable, unearned, and aimless threads. There isn't much payoff or even a climax. Furthermore, the acting is stiff, corny, and hollow. The only passion here was for a paycheck. Ultimately, Valentine's Day's lack of originality, heart, or insight makes it an insulting cringefest.


Technically, Valentine's Day is thoughtless. Its generic direction provides the empty style and sugarcoated tones of a holiday ad. Its cinematography is flat and sterile. The editing has an arbitrary structure and no momentum, feeling like a bloated slog. Its sound is minimal, the production design is nonspecific, and the music is cliche. Its effects cut corners with cheap green-screens. Lastly, while the cast is overstuffed with recognizable names, there's an uncomfortable tendency toward tokenism. Overall, Valentine's Day just doesn't offer any substance or entertainment. Some viewers might appreciate it as upbeat background noise, but it's the furthest thing from art.


Writing: 1/10

Direction: 1/10

Cinematography: 3/10

Acting: 3/10

Editing: 4/10

Sound: 3/10

Score/Soundtrack: 4/10

Production Design: 4/10

Casting: 9/10

Effects: 4/10


Overall Score: 3.6/10

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