Our Little Secret is driven by contrivances and hollow motivations. The plot is obviously formulaic. Bluntly stating emotions instead of earning them, it never develops drama. This is most apparent in the exposition dumps and feigned arc. Similarly, its characters are flat plot devices. The dialogue is forced and its humor is broad. There are no themes, just saccharine platitudes. It's so artificial that it starts to feel alienating, glorifying unrelatable life standards with a wish-fulfillment ending. There are pointless sitcom digressions. The acting is often mild, wooden, or void of chemistry. Thus, Our Little Secret mixes some of the worst cliches into nothing new.
Technically, Our Little Secret is a cheap distraction. Its direction tonally whiplashes. Besides heavily rosy lighting and some camerawork, the cinematography is flat. Its editing constantly stalls with filler. Surprisingly proactive, the sound offers stings, distortions, and risers (plus awkward voiceovers). Its derivative music overdoes generic scoring and Christmas songs. The production design prioritizes impersonal aesthetics and product placements. Lohan’s fading comeback novelty is all the casting has. The effects provide unconvincing CGI, distracting green screens, and lacking aging makeup. Consequently, Our Little Secret is valueless content parading as a story.
Writing: 2/10
Direction: 2/10
Cinematography: 5/10
Acting: 3/10
Editing: 3/10
Sound: 6/10
Score/Soundtrack: 3/10
Production Design: 2/10
Casting: 4/10
Effects: 3/10
Overall Score: 3.3/10
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