The VelociPastor is an unfunny joke, self-aware but still inept. Every aspect is tacky and lame. Its premise is a pun that gets stale quickly. Setups and payoffs occur instantly, making them unearned. Characters are basic, dialogue is boring, and the story is pointless. There isn't even much raptor action, so a majority of the movie is generic low-budget filler (including overindulgent side stories that halt the narrative). Lastly, the lead actors are okay (though unconvincing), but many of the minor actors are painfully unnatural. Ultimately, the humor is obvious, the plot is trash, and drama is farcical. Basically, no emotions in The VelociPastor work.
Technically, The VelociPastor is incompetent. Locations aren't set, costumes are cheap, and the raptor suit is distractingly bad. The effects are silly makeup or terrible props. The sound is simple, rough, and unequalized. Plus, lighting is overdone, shots are unfocused, and handheld camerawork is chaotic. Really, the only halfway decent aspects are the soundtrack (using inappropriate punk rock songs) and the editing (which has awkward cuts and pacing, but provides split screen montages). Overall, The VelociPastor aims low and still fails. It's annoying, dull, and embarrassing. These amateurs deserve credit for completing the project, but viewers won't find it entertaining.
Writing: 0/10
Direction: 1/10
Cinematography: 1/10
Acting: 1/10
Editing: 3/10
Sound: 2/10
Score/Soundtrack: 3/10
Production Design: 0/10
Casting: 1/10
Effects: 0/10
Overall Score: 1.2/10
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